Michelle Lynn's Intrigued Mind

I Have SO Many Questions That I Prefer Google Not Answer…

When I attempt to sleep, my mind runs at a very fast pace. Of course this leaves me with bags under my eyes, but it is also when I do my most productive thinking.

Examples:

a.) Why do moms give their children chicken noodle soup when they are sick? Does soup make people feel better? Is it in the chicken or the broth? Because I am a vegetarian…

b.) Does Theraflu Max-D really work? I just saw a commercial and I am tempted. Advertisements work well on me. Ex: Earlier, I saw a coke ad and not only was I sure I needed a coke (even though I am a Pepsi gal, and a rare pop drinker at that) but I also contemplated sneaking a pet polar bear into my garage. SPOILER ALERT: It wouldn’t work.

c.) Is jewelry really a good gift for Christmas? It basically shows that you wanted to put minimal effort in, but still get a massive reaction. Ladies… nay… dumb broads are easily fooled by diamonds. I believe that their affinity for shiny shit is derived from playing with glitter when we are little. What sparkles like glitter? DIAMONDS. Very good, bitches! I have never really liked the look of diamonds, though. I am easily distracted. Anyway, most men could walk into any jewelry store, ask the salesperson to wrap up any random shiny thing, and they will surely get post-Christmas party nookie. I guess the answer to my initial question would be a big fat hairy YES. Oh, unless you are buying me a Christmas present. I prefer books/pillows/Andes mints (hint hint).

d.) This is not a question but I just thought about it, so I feel like I must share my genius with you. My aunt, sisters and I used to discuss how amazing it would be if women could take their bewbs off whenever they chose. Hear me out… and guys… put your pitchforks away please! The theory is: When I am at home and trying desperately to be sexy for my guy, I attach my tig ol’ bitties and viola! Conversely, I am going to the grocery store to get a few things and I don’t feel like being hassled by creeps… I simply detach my boobs and toss them on the bed. Wow! That sounds like one peaceful errand! I think that this is a great idea!

e.) I would love to know any tips on falling asleep. I always lay in the dark and stare at the walls for hours. I feel like I have tried everything! Teas, CDs, TV, reading, Words With Friends… errthang.

f.) Is it crazy to think that my kitty cat Pepper Potts believes in Santa? I, without thinking about it one bit, began spelling out words to my sister about Christmas. My exact sentence in a phone conversation:

“I found Pepper some C-A-T-N-I-P M-I-C-E and a P-U-R-P-L-E C-O-L-L-A-R for her S-T-O-C-K-I-N-G and S-A-N-T-A is bringing her a really nice D-R-I-N-K-I-N-G F-O-U-N-T-A-I-N!”

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