Michelle Lynn's Intrigued Mind
Oh, The Thoughts I Think…
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1.
The thought of grown men and women licking neon orange powder off of their fingers makes me giggle, but it also makes me nauseous. We are the problem.
2.
Slutty Superheroes are getting ridiculous. I have done it… I have been a “Sexy Green Lantern”, and a “Sexy Batgirl”… but I have learned the error of my ways. There really should only be sexy costumes for truly sexy superheroes! Such as: Sally Jupiter ( I have also been…. and NO ONE KNEW WHO I WAS!), Black Widow, Silk Spectre II, Wonder Woman, Catwoman etc… NO MORE of this Sexy Robin, Sexy Peter Pan, Sexy Joker. Please stop the madness. Also, are you just trying to entice the men, or do you REALLY have a passion for Robin? Because… no one has a passion for Robin. If you are going to dress like a man superhero, why in God’s name would you dress as Robin? Just… stop.
3.
I like night drives. They relax me. I sleep very little, and I never fall right asleep. However, I am scared to go alone because of all of the things that Law and Order has taught me! TV, how dare you take away my sanity!
Somewhere Over the Rainbow…
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I went to see my favorite movie of all time at the Redford Theatre last night… The Wizard of Oz. I put on my red shoes and I was so excited to finally get to experience this classic film on the big screen! There were a few young adults in front of us… all women. Now, I am not a mean person… but I often fill up with an uncontainable bubbling rage when I see dumb broads doing dumb things.
The organist is playing numbers from the movie before the actual film begins, as people are taking their seats. No big deal if these women are talking, right? I love hearing the beautiful music, but it is not the most important part of the experience. The film starts rolling. These chicks had their phones out, and were talking to each other. I almost freaked out. I said “okay everyone, maybe put your phones down or step outside”. I think they got the hint. Mission accomplished, right? Wrong.
“Somewhere Over the Rainbow” starts, and one of the girls’ phones lights up. She got a text… which must have been life-or-death, because she answered it right away. I just said “fuck it” and kicked the back of her seat once every 15 seconds until she put her phone away. I thought about just switching to different seats, but it was packed, so that wasn’t happening.
At the intermission, I look down and see the girls ALL looking at Facebook. This part baffled me! They would go on Facebook, scroll down and check out photos or status updates, close their phones, wait 20 seconds, open them back up, and LOOK AT THE SAME EXACT SHIT THEY JUST LOOKED AT! Whaaa….? They did this repeatedly until intermission was over, at which point I said “please just stay quiet and ignore text messages because holy shit”. I didn’t get any problems from them really after that, but here’s my concern…. WHY were they doing that?
1. It is disrespectful to everyone around you.
2. It is totally cunty to ignore someone’s request that you turn your phones off in a theater.
3. HOW unimportant are your own lives that you have to put 100% of your focus on someone else’s life? HAVE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES! You are at a beautiful historical theatre, filled with the beautiful sound of an amazing movie… and you are OMGing someone’s photo of a bottle of vodka. OMG I LOVES THAT VODKA TOO, GUUUURL! OMG PARTY! Shoot me.
4. I understand that I need to control my rage. But you need to realize you are being twats, and maybe I won’t get so damn angry. You MUST know you are being ridiculous. Who raised you? If you were my children (I would have had you when I was like 2) I would beat you senseless. It is a very good thing for you that I was with my dad at the movie, or it could have been a bad day for you.
5. At the end of the day…. not stupid chicks, nor cell phone lights, nor anything in the world short of my own death could make me dislike the experience of seeingthe Wizard of Oz.
I suppose I just do not understand the constant NEED to be using a piece of technology. I do not understand the attachment to a phone… an inanimate object. And it is not a generation thing because these girls could not have been any younger than 22 and I just turned 24. I don’t know… maybe I am the oddball.
This is just another thing that makes me wish I had been born in the 1950s…
Love,
Michelle
Tags: annoying, bitches, demotivational, Dorothy, movie, movies, Rainbow, rant, redford theatre, stupid, texting, the wizard of oz, theater, women
My Day Has Begun… In a Strange Way…
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I am not sure why, but I love life today. I woke up with the most dreadful headache. I felt all “”why me?!” and was immediately in a bad mood. I got up and went into my linen closet to get some medicine. Then, back into my bed to relax.
When I got up a couple of hours later, I literally laughed out loud. I thought to myself… how ironic is it that my last rant was about the people who overuse FML, and here I am with a simple headache, hating life. I was able to get out of my comfy bed, in my air conditioned home, get medicine that people in other countries wouldn’t have access to in a million years, relax (because I have weekends off with this job), and get back up headache free. I am a selfish lady. I feel like I am not the only one who takes these things for granted.
I had an Ensure shake for breakfast… which is the majority of nutrition I need in a day… when people in other places in the world cannot get food, let alone nutrition. For lunch, I warmed up a sun-dried tomato wrap, added provalone cheese, hummus, and lettuce… it was delicious! I have had 2 glasses of clean, purified filtered water from my refrigerator dispenser, with a little pink straw sticking out of the glass.
My husband is coming home after work tonight, and we are going to see my favorite movie of all time on the big screen at the Redford Theater: The Wizard of Oz. We will probably have a frozen daiquiri before or afterward, because they are in my freezer right now.
I am not a financially wealthy woman. My husband and I both have jobs. I am getting a paycheck this Friday, and he this Saturday. No, I cannot afford big, extravagant vacations on islands or anything, but we went camping this summer, and have been to an amazing concert, not to mention the three other concerts I have yet to attend and have tickets for.
I am intelligent. I am not a genius… but I do have a brain. I attended Broadcast school, some community college, and just got accepted to Rochester College where I may be going to get my Bachelor of Science in Mass Communication. I would be paying back those loans for years… but I have a chance at my dream career.
In a way, these realizations almost make me sad. I know that I take these things for granted and I wish I didn’t. That being said, I am such a lucky girl. I have 2 grandmothers, 2 grandfathers, a loving mother, a great father, 2 beautiful, wonderful sisters who make my life amazing, a hilarious and kind nephew, two amazing nieces, cousins, aunts, uncles, a few incredible friends, and even extended family who are closer to me than a lot of other people’s immediate family. Anyone who has everything I have should be smiling every day.
There are bad things in my life. I have skeletons. I have secrets. I have demons. Here’s the secret that my conscience doesn’t want me to know… everyone has all of that. Everyone has a past, everyone has medical issues, everyone makes bad decisions. I think that as long as I am learning from them, and that I am happy, life will work itself out.
I am going to straighten up, do some dishes, and hop in the shower.
I suggest you all take note of the things that you should be grateful for in life. No matter how bad it gets, there is always someone who has it worse. Cliche’, I know… but trust me, there are several things about my life that I am pissed off about. I am sure another day this week, I will be furious about something. For now, I have a silly smile on my face.
OMG FML LOL 4RL HMU
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I am sick of seeing “FML” being IMMEDIATELY followed by a statement of doing something fun. Seriously? FML stands for Fuck My Life… so you are saying that since you broke the zipper off your jeans, fuck your WHOLE LIFE? I think you people misunderstand what it is to have the gift of life! The ONLY time FML is appropriate is “This life support sucks! FML!”.
Okay, so… I write.
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Grizzlybomb.com is where it is done.
Check out my stuff:
http://grizzlybomb.com/author/michellelynn61/
Kloveyoubye
Season 3 of The Walking Dead Will Now Be 16 Episodes!
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Zombie fans, be excited! The Walking Dead is extending the number of episodes per season yet again! The first season was a mere 6 episodes, which left everyone craving more.
Season two, which we are currently in, will be a total of 13 episodes when all is said and done. Season two will return on February 12. Season three will be split up into two parts, just as season two was.
This detail surfaced during an interview that Glen Mazarra did with the Television Critics Association Winter press tour. The season 2 premiere proposal that we mentioned before was brought up during this interview as well, and Mazarra was asked about Frank Darabont’s turned down genius idea. Mazarra basically stated that it was one of many ideas that were brought up in the writers’ room and that the idea felt like a stall. Mazarra said that they just wanted to get to the characters.
The Walking Dead season 2 will continue on Sunday, February 12 at 9:00pm.
Tags: AMC, episodes, Frank Darabont, Glen Mazarra, news, The Walking Dead, TWD
Am I Seriously a Fatty?
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I began looking through Facebook, stalking all of my friends’ posts as usual, and came across this:
I have to say a few things, and decided that here was as good a place as any.
First of all, I know no one who is over 5’6″ (without your heels on, ladies) and is under a size 6. If you are and that is your body type, good for you! If you are and that is not natural for you, shame on you!
I am 5’8″ and always just under or right at 150 pounds. I am a dress size 4/6 and am a jeans size 7 usually. I wear a 34/36 D depending on the bra, and I wear a shirt size Medium. Is this normal? According to http://www.everydayhealth.com I am SUPPOSED to be between 125 and 157 pounds! If I gain 7 pounds, I am obese. Seriously? Great! Now I have that to worry about.
So what is attractive and what is healthy?
Here is a photo of me and all of my “obese” friends.
I am Michelle and I approve this message.
Tags: anorexic, BMI, fat, ideal weight, model, news, obese, plus size models, skinny, thin, weight
I Have SO Many Questions That I Prefer Google Not Answer…
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When I attempt to sleep, my mind runs at a very fast pace. Of course this leaves me with bags under my eyes, but it is also when I do my most productive thinking.
Examples:
a.) Why do moms give their children chicken noodle soup when they are sick? Does soup make people feel better? Is it in the chicken or the broth? Because I am a vegetarian…
b.) Does Theraflu Max-D really work? I just saw a commercial and I am tempted. Advertisements work well on me. Ex: Earlier, I saw a coke ad and not only was I sure I needed a coke (even though I am a Pepsi gal, and a rare pop drinker at that) but I also contemplated sneaking a pet polar bear into my garage. SPOILER ALERT: It wouldn’t work.
c.) Is jewelry really a good gift for Christmas? It basically shows that you wanted to put minimal effort in, but still get a massive reaction. Ladies… nay… dumb broads are easily fooled by diamonds. I believe that their affinity for shiny shit is derived from playing with glitter when we are little. What sparkles like glitter? DIAMONDS. Very good, bitches! I have never really liked the look of diamonds, though. I am easily distracted. Anyway, most men could walk into any jewelry store, ask the salesperson to wrap up any random shiny thing, and they will surely get post-Christmas party nookie. I guess the answer to my initial question would be a big fat hairy YES. Oh, unless you are buying me a Christmas present. I prefer books/pillows/Andes mints (hint hint).
d.) This is not a question but I just thought about it, so I feel like I must share my genius with you. My aunt, sisters and I used to discuss how amazing it would be if women could take their bewbs off whenever they chose. Hear me out… and guys… put your pitchforks away please! The theory is: When I am at home and trying desperately to be sexy for my guy, I attach my tig ol’ bitties and viola! Conversely, I am going to the grocery store to get a few things and I don’t feel like being hassled by creeps… I simply detach my boobs and toss them on the bed. Wow! That sounds like one peaceful errand! I think that this is a great idea!
e.) I would love to know any tips on falling asleep. I always lay in the dark and stare at the walls for hours. I feel like I have tried everything! Teas, CDs, TV, reading, Words With Friends… errthang.
f.) Is it crazy to think that my kitty cat Pepper Potts believes in Santa? I, without thinking about it one bit, began spelling out words to my sister about Christmas. My exact sentence in a phone conversation:
“I found Pepper some C-A-T-N-I-P M-I-C-E and a P-U-R-P-L-E C-O-L-L-A-R for her S-T-O-C-K-I-N-G and S-A-N-T-A is bringing her a really nice D-R-I-N-K-I-N-G F-O-U-N-T-A-I-N!”
Tags: andes mints, boobs, cats, Christmas, Christmas gifts, Coca Cola, Coke, crazy cat lady, demotivational, diamonds, kitty, Mrs. Grass, Polar bears, Santa, sleep, sleep tips, soup, tits
In a Desperate Attempt to Bore Myself into Sleepyness…
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I have been thinking a whole lot about a whole lot.
First things first: After viewing the movie “The Help””, I find myself giving more money to the black people ringing the Salvation Army bells. I am not racist, but I feel like I owe them a dollar or two. I am paying back the white man’s debt.
Second things second: Looking underneath my Christmas tree and seeing all of the beautifully wrapped gifts we have bought for our family and friends makes me nauseous. I LOVE that I get to do these things and it is something I am great at! But when I think of all of the kids who do not have a Christmas, I must ask myself… Does my sister really NEED the second season of GLEE? (The answer is yes.)
Three! I mean… Third! I have an unhealthy fantasy where I am part of a serial killer team with Dexter Morgan. Why is he so sexy with a knife? I will tell you: It is the ultimate bad boy image.
MOM: But he KILLS people!
ME: I can change him!
❤
Tags: black people, Christmas, Dexter, fantasy, Michael C. Hall, serial killer, The Help
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Michelle Lynn's Intrigued Mind 